Why is it that at 36 years old, I still cannot swallow pills well?
I have to drink milk in order to take pills. Nothing else works. Then no one can be in the room while I attempt my feat of pill swallowing. Especially Matt - he cannot watch me. I just cannot swallow with him staring at me [insert dirty joke here]. It's weird.
Even when alone finally, I sit there with the pill on the back of my tongue for what seems like forever, bobbing my head up and down trying to get my throat to accept this foreign object (more dirty jokes popping up in my head, but I'm not talking about that).
Once I finally swallow [hee - I can't get past that word!), half the time, the stupid thing turns completely sideways, wherein I can feel it slowly slide down my food tube inch by painful inch, until it becomes lodged somewhere between my throat and my stomach, forcing me to drink a gallon of milk to get it completely down. What's the deal with that?
The other half of the time, I swallow it completely wrong, it doesn't make it past the back of my throat, and I end up gagging and sort of puking it back up, and all the outer coating has rubbed off and it's all gross and stuff.
The culprit pill of the moment is my prescription prenatal vitamins, which I still take for breastfeeding purposes. I take one every day, and every day, it's a battle. They are not small, but they are not the biggest pills I've ever taken, and at least they are coated with that slimy stuff that makes them a tad easier to swallow (cuz you know, slimy=more swallowable).
I once tried to take these calcium pills clearly made for horses, and with no good coating. Forget about it. After 2 or 3 days of trying to force those suckers down, I gave up, and upped my milk consumptin instead.
So, how old am I again? Am I going to have to crush my pills or take all liquid medicine? Do we need to wrap my pills up in a treat like we do for the dog? Geesh.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
A Mother Ponders...
1) I wonder what age Jude will be before I stop checking in the middle of the night to see if he's still breathing? 1 year, 2 years, 5, 10, 21?
Which reminds me of a book my mother in law bought for my husband well before we had children. It's about a mother loving her son forever, which is fine, but the mother is still sneaking in his room when he is a grown man and picking him up in her arms and cuddling with him and stuff. That sorta freaked me out. I was like, um, okay lady, he's MINE now.
(and yes, I get the point of the book - that it's metaphorical and that the love of your child goes on forever. I especially get it now that I have a child. I'm just trying to be funny. Besides, it's good ammo for arguments: "well, your mom wants to climb through the window so she can cradle you like a baby! She needs to learn to LET GO! Freaks!" :)
2) The duality of motherhood: I want my baby to grow! I can't wait for each milestone to occur. I can't wait to see what he's going to be like when he's older. I can't wait until he can talk to me and fully express himself.
At the same time....
Stop growing so fast, Jude!
Which reminds me of a book my mother in law bought for my husband well before we had children. It's about a mother loving her son forever, which is fine, but the mother is still sneaking in his room when he is a grown man and picking him up in her arms and cuddling with him and stuff. That sorta freaked me out. I was like, um, okay lady, he's MINE now.
(and yes, I get the point of the book - that it's metaphorical and that the love of your child goes on forever. I especially get it now that I have a child. I'm just trying to be funny. Besides, it's good ammo for arguments: "well, your mom wants to climb through the window so she can cradle you like a baby! She needs to learn to LET GO! Freaks!" :)
2) The duality of motherhood: I want my baby to grow! I can't wait for each milestone to occur. I can't wait to see what he's going to be like when he's older. I can't wait until he can talk to me and fully express himself.
At the same time....
Stop growing so fast, Jude!
Friday, February 09, 2007
Welcome to the Club!
FIRST:
I am so out of touch with the online world. I feel like I never know what is going on anymore. For instance, when I do get a chance to read a beloved Blend's blog, and then I actually get a chance to post to it, after I write my most eloquent and wonderful response, I get a huge lecture from blogland - something about the change to beta and a gmail account. Now, I have several gmail accounts and I'm glad to use one of them if needed, but I don't get a chance to use it before my entire message is erased. Then when I sign into my own blog, I get another lecture about beta and the change to gmail. What-eva.
SECOND:
This has been the absolute week from hell. I'm going to cuss now, because it's been a fucking bad week. It's all about my job, too. I used to really like my job. Heck, I almost loved it. Now my love has quickly turned to hate. But you know what? I don't really feel like being negative right now, so I'm going to jump to the third topic:
DA CLUB
This whole motherhood thing blows my mind. It is the most awesome and breathtaking experience I could have ever imagined. I am beside myself with happiness, and still can't believe this has happened to me, and that I'm a Mommy!
One thing that fascinates me is that I feel like I am now a member of some exclusive club.
In some ways, I've always been somewhat of a recluse. I never really fit in to most groups, I actually have not been in any clubs, heh. But this is some kind of automatic membership.
So many people reach out to me now, it's amazing. Before, I was just sort of ignored. But now, the people who know I am a new mother will stop me and ask me how Jude is doing, and I am more than glad to share, to the point where their eyes glaze over and I know I better shut up before I lose them completely. It's like asking the elderly how they are feeling, ha ha.
Take my father-in-law's side of the family: I don't know them that well b/c my husband's parents are divorced, and we don't get a chance to see his dad's side that often. He has a HUGE family, by the way. Not even Matt remembers the names of all his cousin's kids. So when we go, not everyone knows me. I get those weird looks from the little kids. You know how little kids glare at you when they don't know you at family gatherings. The adults were nice enough, but no one really talked to me much.
Last time with Jude though, I think everyone talked to me, especially the wives/other moms. And I mean they were super friendly, really sincerely interested, and we had a lot to talk about. Well, mostly all about children, but still, once you get started on that topic, you can go on about it for a long time, I find. The little kids, too, are way more interested in "Jude's Mommy" than they were in that strange lady who shows up every now and again.
On a side but related note, one of the kids asked me who I was, and given the attention span of kids, I couldn't explain the family tree fast enough before he ran away and to play with a truck or something. I started by saying, "well, you know who Tom is, right"? Tom is my father in law, and I was going to explain that I was Tom's son's wife. But the kid didn't know who Tom was, so that thwarted my plan. So I was going through my head trying to figure who he knew and how I was related, before he got bored and ran off. Heh - I think all I had to say was "Karla", ya think?
Back to the topic:
When I take Jude out in public, I get tons and tons of people talking to me, or to him, and mostly in a positive light. Even if they don't talk, I get knowing looks, or understanding looks, or friendly nods.
Another aside: lots of people comment, "Good job!". I find that odd. I mean, thanks and all, but what does it mean? That he is cute & I somehow manipulated our genes to make him that way? Or do they mean he is well behaved? When they say good job, I feel like I scultped him out of clay or something. I don't feel I did a good job unless getting pregnant and giving birth in and of itself is a good job. I'll take the compliment for sure, it just never crossed my mind to say that to anyone.
ANYWAY...
I never realized how much I was ignored before. Further, I never realized how much I didn't like being ignored (I thought I liked it) or how much I like being involved with my community now. I feel like I have common ground with my fellow humans finally
At the same time, I wonder why that is. I mean, just because I didn't have children before, I still mattered. I was still a human being. I'm working hard to see the good in people and not be so negative, so I'm thinking it wasn't just the people who ignored me. Maybe I was closed off. Maybe I didn't look at people or reach out to people. But now that I have Jude, I do sorta look at people to see if they notice him. Maybe *I* am the one giving those knowing glances first.
In any case, I love being a member of the Mommy Club. I love talking to people about baby poop and spit-up, something I never thought I'd do, and I always rolled my eyes when I heard moms talking about it. I love it when people ask me how I do this or I do that or ask me for advice, because I am such a damn good mom and have a genius baby, ha ha. I like being social and having friends - should be a given, right? But I always denied that I wanted that in the past, that I needed to be social. I like being a "normal" person. Well, more or less normal.
But most of all, like the Grinch, my heart has grown 3 times it's size. I never knew I was capable of such love. I never knew such love existed. People tried to tell me I didn't know anything because I didn't have children. They were right. I knew nothing of this kind of love. Being a mom is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. For once, I am going to appreciate and enjoy this happiness instead of worrying about whether or not I deserve it, or worrying about the happiness going away and so closing myself off, etc. (did I ever mention I used to have some serious ISSUES??). I'm just going to be happy, in spite of myself. I think I deserve it!
Now...if I could only fix that job of mine. Given some recent revelations in my life, it's pretty ironic that I've had such a bad week. I am truly being tested. And I'll save that for another post.
I am so out of touch with the online world. I feel like I never know what is going on anymore. For instance, when I do get a chance to read a beloved Blend's blog, and then I actually get a chance to post to it, after I write my most eloquent and wonderful response, I get a huge lecture from blogland - something about the change to beta and a gmail account. Now, I have several gmail accounts and I'm glad to use one of them if needed, but I don't get a chance to use it before my entire message is erased. Then when I sign into my own blog, I get another lecture about beta and the change to gmail. What-eva.
SECOND:
This has been the absolute week from hell. I'm going to cuss now, because it's been a fucking bad week. It's all about my job, too. I used to really like my job. Heck, I almost loved it. Now my love has quickly turned to hate. But you know what? I don't really feel like being negative right now, so I'm going to jump to the third topic:
DA CLUB
This whole motherhood thing blows my mind. It is the most awesome and breathtaking experience I could have ever imagined. I am beside myself with happiness, and still can't believe this has happened to me, and that I'm a Mommy!
One thing that fascinates me is that I feel like I am now a member of some exclusive club.
In some ways, I've always been somewhat of a recluse. I never really fit in to most groups, I actually have not been in any clubs, heh. But this is some kind of automatic membership.
So many people reach out to me now, it's amazing. Before, I was just sort of ignored. But now, the people who know I am a new mother will stop me and ask me how Jude is doing, and I am more than glad to share, to the point where their eyes glaze over and I know I better shut up before I lose them completely. It's like asking the elderly how they are feeling, ha ha.
Take my father-in-law's side of the family: I don't know them that well b/c my husband's parents are divorced, and we don't get a chance to see his dad's side that often. He has a HUGE family, by the way. Not even Matt remembers the names of all his cousin's kids. So when we go, not everyone knows me. I get those weird looks from the little kids. You know how little kids glare at you when they don't know you at family gatherings. The adults were nice enough, but no one really talked to me much.
Last time with Jude though, I think everyone talked to me, especially the wives/other moms. And I mean they were super friendly, really sincerely interested, and we had a lot to talk about. Well, mostly all about children, but still, once you get started on that topic, you can go on about it for a long time, I find. The little kids, too, are way more interested in "Jude's Mommy" than they were in that strange lady who shows up every now and again.
On a side but related note, one of the kids asked me who I was, and given the attention span of kids, I couldn't explain the family tree fast enough before he ran away and to play with a truck or something. I started by saying, "well, you know who Tom is, right"? Tom is my father in law, and I was going to explain that I was Tom's son's wife. But the kid didn't know who Tom was, so that thwarted my plan. So I was going through my head trying to figure who he knew and how I was related, before he got bored and ran off. Heh - I think all I had to say was "Karla", ya think?
Back to the topic:
When I take Jude out in public, I get tons and tons of people talking to me, or to him, and mostly in a positive light. Even if they don't talk, I get knowing looks, or understanding looks, or friendly nods.
Another aside: lots of people comment, "Good job!". I find that odd. I mean, thanks and all, but what does it mean? That he is cute & I somehow manipulated our genes to make him that way? Or do they mean he is well behaved? When they say good job, I feel like I scultped him out of clay or something. I don't feel I did a good job unless getting pregnant and giving birth in and of itself is a good job. I'll take the compliment for sure, it just never crossed my mind to say that to anyone.
ANYWAY...
I never realized how much I was ignored before. Further, I never realized how much I didn't like being ignored (I thought I liked it) or how much I like being involved with my community now. I feel like I have common ground with my fellow humans finally
At the same time, I wonder why that is. I mean, just because I didn't have children before, I still mattered. I was still a human being. I'm working hard to see the good in people and not be so negative, so I'm thinking it wasn't just the people who ignored me. Maybe I was closed off. Maybe I didn't look at people or reach out to people. But now that I have Jude, I do sorta look at people to see if they notice him. Maybe *I* am the one giving those knowing glances first.
In any case, I love being a member of the Mommy Club. I love talking to people about baby poop and spit-up, something I never thought I'd do, and I always rolled my eyes when I heard moms talking about it. I love it when people ask me how I do this or I do that or ask me for advice, because I am such a damn good mom and have a genius baby, ha ha. I like being social and having friends - should be a given, right? But I always denied that I wanted that in the past, that I needed to be social. I like being a "normal" person. Well, more or less normal.
But most of all, like the Grinch, my heart has grown 3 times it's size. I never knew I was capable of such love. I never knew such love existed. People tried to tell me I didn't know anything because I didn't have children. They were right. I knew nothing of this kind of love. Being a mom is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. For once, I am going to appreciate and enjoy this happiness instead of worrying about whether or not I deserve it, or worrying about the happiness going away and so closing myself off, etc. (did I ever mention I used to have some serious ISSUES??). I'm just going to be happy, in spite of myself. I think I deserve it!
Now...if I could only fix that job of mine. Given some recent revelations in my life, it's pretty ironic that I've had such a bad week. I am truly being tested. And I'll save that for another post.
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