Notes To Self

1) Never do that thing where you take one normal self-photo with somebody else, and then you take take one "goofy" photo right after that, and then post them all online.

This is petty, but people do that on Facebook all the time. Here is my theory: It's funny if you do it once, maybe twice, but totally randomly. If you do at every photo op and on purpose and staged, it loses it's flair.

I remember the first time I saw a friend of mine do this. In the first series of photos she posted, there was a picture of her and a friend, a cute, smiling picture, and then the next picture was a goofy face picture. "Aw, how cute! So funny and spontaneous! Ha ha!", I thought.

And now, on every series of photos of she posts, there are 1-5 photos that follow this pattern - smiles, then goofy, and all in that self-portrait style where you hold the camera yourself, so it's an extreme close-up of a goofy face.

I just looked at someone else's profile, and she did the same thing in her albums. On every photo. No, I mean every photo. One sweet smile followed by one goofy. And seriously contorted face tongue sticking out goofy. And she was making the same face in every photo. And I don't know this girl...a friend was linked to her photo...heh. FB stalking. Anyway...

Instead of spontaneous goofiness, I can hear it going like this:

"Let's take a picture of ourselves! Here we go!"
(holds camera up)
(they both smile)

"Okay, now let's make a goofy face. Wouldn't that be fun?"

(holds camera up)
(goofy face ensues)
(giggles)
(look at goofy face on screen)
(hysterical crack up)


So what is my problem anyway? Hell, I don't know. I'm just calling it as I see it. It looks stupid to do it over and over again. That is, if you are 35 years old. Teenagers and kids are allowed these things.

2) Never touch my privates in public.

I was driving down the road today, because that is usually what we drive down, and I see this pretty good looking kid, a potential incoming freshman, "adjust" himself, while walking beside his mom.* I don't mean just quickly touching himself, but a full-on, all out adjustment. His hand was down there forever, and he was aggressively moving his junk all over the place. And like I said, he was a good looking kid in nice clothes with a normal looking mom. Are these things really not frowned upon by anyone else but me?

*I know this was a freshman and his mother b/c the next few weeks are "Days on Campus" here at the college, where new h.s. graduates visit the college with their parents to see if they want to attend, so kids and parents are everywhere. I mean, maybe it wasn't his mom, but a guardian, but it doesn't matter. She looked very mom-like, and then I wondered if I look mom-like, too. The moms all have this same look about them...

Jude is new to underwear right now. He has been touching himself a lot. It's a new sensation for him. But he's two. I am working on figuring out how to teach him to not touch himself except for in private, w/o making him think this is a dirty and gross thing, his penis, b/c I want him to have a healthy sexual attitude and to NOT feel shame. Maybe some moms never get around to explaining these things for this reason, and then men end up grabbing themselves in public until they die.

3) Drive closer to the car in front of me.

I won't really do that, but this happens to me a lot: I try to leave a reasonable amount of space between me and the car in front of me. I think you should leave more space than people want to, especially when going 60 mph. Invariably, someone in the other lane always decides that my safe space would be a perfect fit for their vehicle.

That happened this morning. And I knew she was going to do it. You know, you can just tell. It's like the car exhibits the driver's emotions.

So she zoomed over in my safe space, wherein I was forced to back off and leave another safe space. (but I always stay there for a second, to show them just how close they are, as if they give a shit. I sort of pretend I didn't even notice that they got in my space, and then suddenly, hell, there they are!)

And if *that* wasn't bad enough....I mean, I actually can handle it if they then keep up with traffic. I'd rather have them in front of me than tailgating me. But as if that wasn't bad enough, she starts driving very slowly while looking down at something. At first I thought, make-up. But then I realized it had to be - texting. So she got in the left "fast" passing lane...to hurry up and get distracted and slow down, to text.

She was going about 45-50 I'd say (in a 55), and was way, way behind the car that was in front of her, that used to be in front of me. So, going against my mantra from the other day of not ever reacting again at drivers, I honked at her. Not a long, obnoxious honk. Just a little beep to let her know she was holding up traffic.

She looked up at me, but kept going the same speed until we stopped at a red light. Then when it turned green, she took off really fast, way ahead of me. Ha ha!

My theory on that is that she wanted to act cool as if she didn't care and was going to do what she wanted. But then she knew she was an ass wasn't paying attention and deserved the honk, and went ahead and took off.

I wasn't really mad at her, per se...it's just a little ridiculous to block traffic so you can text. And dangerous! So really, my real note to self should be:

4) Don't text and drive.

Which I never do. I rarely text as it is.


5) Consider the environment

Someone sent directions today for my boss. At the end of the text in the Word file, it said:

P Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail

So, I thought about the environment for about 30 seconds, and then I pressed print.

I am all for the environment, and I like the message, but my boss needed the directions in hand, in a file, per his instructions. Boss =1 , Environment = 0. Sorry Environment.

Being Safe Versus Being Right - Drama of the Day

Today, I was behind a minivan at a stoplight. The light turned green, and guy in minivan proceeded to turn veerry slowly. He was on his cell phone so he's allowed, right?

I actually did not care how slowly he turned, as he was turning (slowly) onto a 4-lane road, and I could simply pass him.

So I proceed to the left lane to pass him. As slow as he was going, I am somehow not getting around him. The fucker is speeding up in the right lane. I go faster, he goes faster. I need back in the right lane to make my turn, so I go ahead and get back in the right lane. Yep, I did cut him off.

Apparently, this Cell Phone Talking Mini Van Driving Guy does NOT allow that. He proceeded to tailgate me...very...closely. Dangerously close.

Then he followed me into my work parking garage.

I deliberately picked a space where there were no other open spaces around, so as to avoid a confrontation. I thought, "Surely, this dude isn't actually following me!". Dude certainly was. He stopped right behind my car. This middle-aged, bald dude.

I think, "ok, ok, I'll talk to him about it".

Dude (in a tone that is confrontational but not yelling): "Why are you in such a hurry?"

Me: "You were racing me!"

Dude: "No I wasn't"

Me: "You turned so slowly, so I went to pass you, then you sped up and wouldn't let me around you. Oh, are you on your cell phone? (I spy cell phone) Yes, yes you are"

I walk away with, "Have a nice day".

Dude, "Yeah, whatever".

Me: "God Bless You, Sir".

Dude: (in a sarcastic, pissed manner, and not that I wasn't being sarcastic myself, but for all he knew, I meant it) "Yeah, yeah".

I went back out to the garage about 1/2 hour later to make sure he did not damage my car somehow. I also moved my car to a different spot. I looked for his van, but did not see it. I am pretty sure he was not parking there, but just wanted to confront me.

You know, I'm not saying I was 100% right about cutting him off, but who follows people to their parking spot to say something? Does the guy follow every single person who doesn't drive the way he likes to their parking space? Or am I the first person to piss him off?

I handled it well on the spot, but by the time I got back to my office, I was all hyperventilating and stuff. Yeah, yeah, the fucking drama. I'm not used to being confronted in such a manner; rather thin-skinned am I. I'm glad I held it together in front of dude, though. But, I was able to make myself Drama Queen of the Day by talking about it on FB. :)


IN RETROSPECT:

1) I should have gone straight and taken the next right (not out of my way but by a fraction maybe), OR slowed down and got behind him, although I'm not sure if that was an option. I can't remember the traffic situation - who was behind us, etc. Okay...he was clearly being a dick. He was. He was speeding up while I was passing him, which is illegal. But...I admit that once I had it in my head that I wanted to be in front of him, he wasn't stopping me. When I got in front of him, I was cutting it close. I did have other options. Safe is better than Right. I should have picked a safer option not b/c he was right, but for my own safety. People are nuts. What if something worse would have happened?

2) I should have stayed in my car and not gotten out, and/or called the police. What if he would have had a gun or would have gotten out of his car? Sounds paranoid, but it could happen. I kind of wish I would not have parked and would have driven directly to the campus police station, which was not far. Would he have followed me there? Would that be a waste of the police's time if I were to go there in that situation?

3) I should not have gone back out to my car by myself, when I went to check to make sure there was no damage.

4) And I wonder if I should have taken the higher ground and simply apologized very nicely, even though I was not completely wrong in the matter?


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Hopefully, he has forgotten about this, and isn't going to "track me down" further.

Hopefully, he is not an alumnus (is that correct? Or alumni?) or professor or dean or some other higher up.

Hopefully, he doesn't know anyone I know.

Not because I think I am 100% wrong, but b/c I freaking cannot deal with controversy and confrontation and gossip.

I wanted to tell him I was pregnant and to leave me alone, ha ha.

But seriously, if I was a guy driving some big ol' truck, would he have followed me like that? I have the feeling it was b/c I was a woman. I mean I drive a station wagon with a car seat in the back. It's not like I'm some punk. What a dick!

And I live in a relatively small town. Clearly, I could never deal with NY or LA, admittedly.

Unfortunately, this type of stuff makes me hate People.

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AND NOW THE POSITIVE:

But you know, I reluctantly have to thank this dickless dude. I am going to try harder to get in my driving zone and not give a shit. What I mean is, okay, dude speeds up, clearly trying to beat me, I don't want him to, so I don't let him. Fuck that. It's not worth my life or safety, and of course I always think of Jude (who wasn't with me at the time). Next time, I'll just let the dickless wonders "win" and go on with my safe life. So thank you, Mr. Asshole. You are clearly a Messenger from God.

Plastic Death

I saw a reference to a link about the dangers of plastic water bottles, and I decided to take a look at it. Apparently, not only are plastic water bottles bad for the environment, but they may leak chemicals that can cause problems.

It's rather frustrating b/c it took me years to even use water bottles at all as I considered them "too trendy" and for yuppies. Now that I finally use them, they are bad.

When I heard they were bad for the environment, I thought I was still doing okay b/c I recycle mine.

After doing a quick Google search, it seems the worst plastics are the harder ones, especially number 7's. But almost any number can be bad, allegedly.

So my first thought was: How can I eliminate plastic from my life? And then I realized how many things I have that are plastic. Is it just me? There is a ton of plastic in my house - toys, electronics, Jude's dishware and cups, storage containers, etc.

But back to water...I'm thinking, what can I drink out of then? Okay, no plastic water bottles. So I use this really cool, but plastic, container I got from the hospital after having Jude. And it's a hard plastic, of course. I look at the bottom...no number. So what do I do? Bring an actual glass glass to work and drink my water out of that? And tap water? I thought tap water was supposed to be the devil.

I continue reading online about the dangers of plastics, how many baby bottles are bad, plastic food storage is bad, how you shouldn't have canned foods including soups, no plastic containers for milk, etc. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed.

And as I click on link after link, I finally get to the one: "Can your vinyl siding kill you?" Oh for gosh sakes. I simply cannot worry about all of this stuff. I just cannot. I suppose I could convert everything to glass containers and buy milk in the cardboard cartons, but do I need to build another house with wood siding? Or a brick house? Will this really eliminate all carcinogenic chemicals from my life?

How valid are these findings anyway? Do I *really* need to worry about plastic, and what kind of water I drink?

I hate worrying about shit. I really do. Maybe I'm lazy, not sure, but I hate worrying about shit. It seems the whole world is out of control and there is nothing I can do about it. People are smoking outside my building and I have to walk through their smoke, but I've got to worry about my fucking plastic water bottle now? Great.

Twins!

Thanks Erin & Eileen! I am only 9 weeks along. They are due January 16.

I think I will start another blog just about this journey. I'll provide the link as soon as I have it. The Poor Jude Chronicles are being neglected! Gotta work on that, too!

In Other News...

:)

Preschool Update!!

Thank you so much to all of you who responded so long ago on my request for advice about Jude's preschool. I did read all of your comments at the time and they were very helpful!!! I've just been busy with other things, and I'll get back to that in another post.

In short, things are much better now. I think in this instance, it was indeed a case of it being just a fluke; I caught them at a bad time. We had a a parent/teacher conference since then, and I asked some pointed questions and got good answers. I'm pretty happy with the preschool at the moment. It isn't PERFECT, but what is? It's a good school though, Jude really seems to thrive there, so I feel better about the whole thing.

To those I did not respond to, which is pretty much everyone:

TG:
I have observed his class at random times since then, and feel much better about it all. In our case, I am glad that Jude is not with his grandparents every day...heh..I don't think that would be the best for him. Oh...they love him...but only grandchild and all. They get him once a week, Fridays in fact, and they spoil him all they want to. Which is fine. For one day. :) (and not saying that Mrs. TG isn't the best choice!! I'm just talking about my circumstances. Perhaps if Jude was with my mom every day, it would be different. But knowing how my grandma spoiled me, I doubt it!)

Erin:
Yeah, I know you understand completely how I feel. I am sure a lot of it is a first-time mom thing. We'll probably toughen up later down the line and not cry at every little thing. Or not. For the record, I cried the very first day I took Jude to daycare, when he was 12 weeks old. People probably thought I was insane.

Simplicity:
I do remember you! I will try to get to your blog. I have been really bad about reading other's blogs lately. :(

Marijayde:
Hey girlfriend! Good to see you! Heh...thanks for the advice and support. Yeah..I know he'll make it and be fine. I guess this is what makes us all good moms, that we even think about this stuff. I imagine bad moms don't. And yeah about gym class...wtf? Shouldn't they just be running around like little heathens? :)