Hormones, Conformity, and Fashion. I think this is all related, but I'm not really sure.

I'm not feeling so numb now. I think it was just a fluctuating hormonal issue, LOL. I will never get used to the ebb and flow of my hormones, it seems. I never recognize it while it's happening. When I start feeling something crazy, or not feeling anything at all, I never think, "ah...it's my tumultuous hormones acting up again! I shall ride it out!". Nope...I never get it until after the fact. My emotions get wacky, I get cramps, I think "why, why, why???", and then I figure it out when certain things happen, or rather, flow. Duh!

I think that's what it was. In any case, I feel more normal now. Normal for me.

I wrote a while back about being anti-LOL and anti-other silly internet jargon. Notice I use LOL in the very first paragraph of this post. I have conformed. It's just easier to talk the talk and walk the walk of the Romans when I'm in Rome.

Historically, I eventually cave like that. I'm all anti-new things, especially when it comes to hype and popular stuff, but eventually I come around and participate. The funny and sad thing is, I'm usually too late, and by the time I conform, the said subject is out of style.

I just starting using "rawks" and "kewl", mostly as a joke, but I've been told that this is now 3 years out of style, and you can't even joke around about using them now. (to the person who enlightened me on this fact, I love ya man. I truly thought it was funny...no worries. It's just making this essay better, is all) :)

Other examples are TV shows. I did not like nor watch Friends or Seinfeld when they were popular. People talked about them so much, that I refused to watch them. Now I love them both, and both are in syndication.

Same with fashion...I refuse to buy things the minute it becomes a fashion necessity, until about a year later when no one else is wearing it.

Lucky for me, I am 36 years old. Whew! Thank God I do not have to be KEWL anymore. No one really notices, I don't think. (BTW, I hated high school. ;) )

Speaking of being out of it....I would hate to be on the show "What Not To Wear". I would consider that a personal insult. I lied earlier...I am actually quite fashionably hip, at least in my mind's eye, and for a 36 year old, and for a Midwesterner (thank god I am not in NY or Cali. It's easy to maintain a fashion sense where I live. Just look around. People need to get their shit together.).

Many people say they would love that show b/c you get $5000 worth of shopping. My arguments to that:

1) Have you seen the show? They surprise you by telling you on TV that all of your friends and family got together and decided you are the worst dressed person they know, with no fashion sense whatsoever. Stacy and Clinton are harsh and mean. I love them on the show, but I am way too thin-skinned for that.

2) $5000 is not going to get you very far with the types of clothes they want you to buy...jeans and tops and dresses for $500 a piece, or more! I agree with all the participants who hate spending that much and want to find a bargain. And then they want you to pay a tailor to make it fit just right. Whatever. Obviously, I'm too poor to understand all that.

3) Finally, they give you a credit card with your name on it. Big deal! I've got plenty of those! I want a credit card with *their* name on it, b/c the last time I checked, credit cards with your name on it have the bills sent to your name! I know the show pays for it, but I still think they need to fix that glitch.


I would love to get a makeover by that hair guy and the makeup girl though. I'd take that in a heartbeat. I wish my hairdresser knew what to do like that. Mine is good, but I have to make most of the decisions, and I have a hard time explaining myself b/c, you know, I am not a hairdresser. The hair guy on that show is all about "Your hair needs this color and this cut, and then you will look good" and he is usually right.

I've gotten great tips from that show, but a couple of things I don't agree with:

1) They think it's horrible to wear jogging pants, those striped track kind, to walk in your neighborhood. They wanted this chick to throw them away, and the lady was like, "oh, I just wear these to walk in my neighborhood", and Stacy yells out "WELL! I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR NEIGHBORS THEN!!!". What? Who cares? Just to walk or exercise, I'm not going to worry about it. Even to the mall or the grocery store, I don't mind not looking perfect, although I agree that you shouldn't look like a slob all the time either.

I mean, I've got my cute little workout outfits, b/c I need them for motivation, so I don't look like a ragged, rundown housewife when I work out, but my outfits include track pants and yoga pants, and I (gasp!) wear them in my neighborhood. My husband and I always joke around about it with "you're going to go outside looking like THAT??? What will the neighbors think???"

2) Scrunchies: people need to lighten up about these. I don't wear them out to dinner or to work, but can't you pull your hair back with them while you do housework for gosh sakes? I do.

3) They made one chick throw away her Olympic jacket and she was in the Olympics! Whatever. I'd tell them to F off. It's not like she has to wear that out on dates or anything.

That said...some people's fashion styles on that show are hilarious. I especially love the ones that are people my age trying to dress like a 20 year old.

And that is one thing I learned...how to dress at the right age without looking like an old lady. It's quite difficult at my age, I think, to find the perfect balance, and something I'll elaborate on later.

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PS for those in blogland: Thank you to everyone who may read and/or post on this silly blog o'mine. I have been terribly negligent in most aspects of my life, especially my friends and everything internet related. The baby and working full time is a huge challenge for me, and I'm still learning to manage time. I suck miserably at it. I barely manage to pay bills. I try to check in on blogs when I can, and am always happy to see when you are doing well, and am sad if you are not. I may read, but can't always comment. And it's not b/c I'm too good for this or lead such an active life...I'm telling you...everything is baby, baby, baby right now. SO....I'm sure my friends understand, and, thanks again! ;-) (I'm looking to quit my job so I can get back to internet surfing full time, heh. Priorities!)

IFHIWPUFLIPOW

The letters in the title do stand for something. Only my mind holds the key. I'm sure I will forget what it stands for by tomorrow. Or in a couple of minutes.

I am a snob when it comes to these things in e-mail/chat, etc. I have singled out LOL and any variation of ROTF as incredibly annoying shortcuts. I don't think it's so much because they are shortcuts, but more because of what they stand for.

Laughing Out Loud. Okay, fair enough. And never mind it took me a whole year back in 1998 to figure out what the fuck LOL meant. (I could have asked, but I considered it a challenge to figure it out on my own. I actually thought it was Lots of Laughs for some time).

The problem is, it's overused. Really, how often do people Laugh Out Loud? Not all humor is Laugh Out Loud funny. LOTIBNOL should be used more, probably (Laughing On The Inside But Not Out Loud).

Plus, people are just abusing the hell out of it, LOL. I hate getting up in the mornings, LOL. I started a new workout today, LOL. I had some toast for breakfast, LOL. I may go to the mall tomorrow, LOL. After a while, one starts to ignore the LOLs, just like the boy who cried, "Wolf!", LOL.

Then to add an extra element of madness, we decide to volunteer the fact that we are rolling on the floor, sometimes even laughing our ass off! Really? Is it really that funny? And where did that idea come from? In regular conversation, I'm not sure I've ever said, oh my gawd! I'm rolling on the floor laughing my ass off!

I get that it's supposed to be a visual. You are supposed to visualize the person you are talking to LOLROTFLMAO. Whatever happened to: "You are so funny. You make me laugh". That's about 10 too many letters for the busy folk to type, I suppose.

Strangely enough, I am totally cool with BTW, OMG (in moderation), B/C, and using "4" in place of for(e), such as 4wrd and b4hand. I think it's just because those are just ways to shorten words, not ways to convey to your reader what you are doing. BRBGTP or HTP or whatever it is should be banned (telling people you'll be back b/c you have to pee. TMI! [another one I approve of, although people say "too much information" too much in general. The pregnancy boards were full of them. "ok, tmi, but...". Yes, yes, practically everything to do with pregnancy has to do with the uterus, vagina, and other female body parts. We get it. Now, get on with telling me that you have lots of discharge, just like me, so I can feel better about my medical condition based on the fact that a random stranger posted on a message board]).

Finally, I do have to give 5 stars to the use of smiley faces, even though it is also a way to convey what the typist is doing. It's okay to say I'm smiling. You don't need to know what I'm doing on the floor.

I totally overuse smiley faces, mostly because I'm so sarcastic and jokey, and I want to MAKE SURE that people know I'm KIDDING. I've been burned before, and it is hard to properly convey meaning in the written word. So, :) it is. If I'm really being over the line, then :))))) it is. If I want to flirt AND say I'm kidding, then it's ;). Let's don't leave out when I'm sad. :(

I draw the line at the overuse of emoticons. I find them to be extremely distracting. And too cutesy. :))))

I must confess that I am not always smiling or winking when I type :) or ;), but without a web cam, my reader will never know. :)))))))))))))))) Maybe I should use: :I, B :) OTI. Blank facial expression, But smiling On The Inside.

Paranoia

I deleted all my old posts due to yet another sweep of paranoia on my part. The Internet scares me. Scary place, scary people.

Now, let's see if I can focus on new topics that have nothing to do with where I live, what I look like, what my loved ones look like, and what my social security number is.