Pee Control...Issues much?

You know that Prince song "Pussy Control"? Funny song. My husband hates it. Anyway, this is about Pee Control...issues.



This happens just about every morning: I'm in that early morning state of drifting in and out of a light sleep. But the light sleep is very soothing...very relaxing. I am very warm under the cozy covers. I know I have to get up when the alarm goes off, but that is a whole hour away.



Then it happens. The demon pee demands to be let out. Most people would just get up and pee, right? Not me. Lemme tell you, I fight that pee all the way to the toilet.



When I first feel the urge, I totally ignore it, as if ignoring it will somehow make it evaporate right through my bladder and skin and out of my body. But the pee is a persistent little bitch. It starts to become downright painful. And I'm like FUCK I am NOT getting up yet. I'm NOT! F U Pee. F U!!! The problem is that once I'm physically up that late in the morning, there is no going back to sleep.



I'm pissed off (heh) that the pee is controlling me. IT is making me get up when I don't want to. I want to control it and I want to pee on MY terms. If that isn't having issues, I don't know what is.



Sad to say...the pee always wins. 100% of the time. Pee has a 1000-0 record. It gets to the point where I'm about to wet the bed, and then I pretty much have to get up. It is quite a relief by that point to let it out, heh.





I'm like that at work, too. I don't wait nearly as long, but if I'm in the middle of a project at work, I feel resentful that I have to get up and pee. Such an interruption. What a "waste of time", ha ha.



This is the definition of being anal, or anal retentive. You are such a control freak and so obsessive compulsive about everything, that you will not poo when you are supposed to. Instead, you hold it in and wait until a time that is perfect for you; you retain it in the anus (should be the name of a song). I do that, too (poo almost always wins that battle, too, although its record is not quite as clean as pee's. However, the revenge it later takes is quite painful, and not worth the fight). I am certain that I would be classified as being "anal", as well, in my general personality. But not about all things.



Well, gotta go pee now. I've been fighting it through this entire post.



;-)



(or is it Pussy Patrol, not Control? Hell, I can't remember, and Google won't let me Google the word "pussy". Why not? :) )