I was reading a motivational book by a religious guy. I had to stop reading though when he got just a little *too* Jesus-y on me. I "believe" and all that. I really do. It's just that, I have my own style of worship, and well...my style is just not like the author's style. I like his sermons, but, well, I just don't quote scripture to people. I just don't. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, although I can't imagine hanging out with a script quoter all day if they did it all day like that. I can't explain it other than I just don't quote scripture out loud all day. If you knew me in person, you'd understand.
Back to the point, much of his message is plain logic, and true. This is true for fitness or for any aspect of your life, but he is saying that you are what you think you are. You feel what you think you feel. If you have positive thoughts and positive outlooks, that's what you'll get. The opposite is true of negative thoughts and feelings. In psychology, it's called the "self-fulfilling prophecy".
I have spent my whole life being a negative person, unfortantly. I never realized this until recently. I don't believe most negative people know what downers they are. I'm not even going to go into the background of why I have been negative - I could come up with a million reasons - but I don't think it's important. What is important now is today and the future.
I once had a "friend" tell me about 10 years ago that I was too negative for her to hang out with anymore. That hurt like heck and I didn't believe her. I see her point now, although she did not go about it in the right way...her approach was wrong (i.e. she was pretty mean to me about it). But maybe there is no right approach to that. She was trying to get rid of the negative influences in her life, friends that would bring her down in their negativity, and that is what I am trying to do now. Actually, I've been working on that the last few years. There are no friends I'm going to dump at the moment, heh.
Currently, I am working on controlling my own thoughts. I used to be really down on myself. That aspect of negativity I think I have mostly conquered.
What I really have to work on now is not being so negative about other people, and about certain hands that fate had dealt me or continues to deal to me, or rather, the hands fate seems to deal me, in my warped perception.
My husband is really bad at this (I hope I didn't make him this way after living w/me for so long), and we feed off each other. We automatically assume the worst in people, and in situations. We have gone to the grocery store hating every person we ran into b/c they "got into our way" or "purposely" did something to slight us. Driving is horrid. Everyone and every thing is out to get us. Every company and business is out to screw us over.
Whew....what a drag! I don't want to be that way anymore. There's a difference between joking around about how stupid people are, and really hating your fellow men and women. It brings you down, and bad stuff does happen to you, if that's the way you want to look at.
But we have so many blessings, too many to take for granted. I'm not sure if I can change my husband's way of thinking, but I am hoping that my positive outlook will eventually rub off on him.
So every day, I drown out negative thoughts with positive ones, and I tell myself good things will happen. I look in the mirror and tell myself that I am going to have a good day. I try to watch and read mostly positive movies and books, and if I watch or read downers, I don't see it as a reflection of my own life. I want my son to learn a positive way of thinking from me. It would be way easier to learn that from your parents and to grow up with it, than to try at 37 like I am.
It's not easy. And I screw up all the time. But, I already feel happier, and feel that things will get even better and that the future is bright.
I'm not sure how this will affect my cynical/sarcastic sense of humor. I always found that to be interesting in other people. Writing about all happy stuff seems boring. Oh well...I'm sure my entire personality won't change. I know it won't. But I at least don't want to go around hating people and smothering myself in self pity about how everyone has done me wrong.
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One thing that bothered me about that book was this:
The author told a story of how his mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and given just weeks to live. They prayed every day for a miracle, and every day, his mother quoted scripture having to do with recovery and healing. And she was saved and didn't die. That was the 80's and she's alive today.
Now, I *do* believe in the power of prayer, which goes along with fate and positive thinking. In fact, I think it does no good to worry or to give up, and that positive thoughts can go a long way. I'll even go so far to say that I believe in miracles (you sexay thing (a song. Never mind. The Full Monty? anyone???).
What I didn't like about the story, and maybe this is that cynic in me again, but to me the story insinuated that the reason our loved ones have passed away is b/c we didn't pray hard enough or weren't positive enough. I immediately thought of my grandma who died from cancer in 1987. Did I not pray hard enough? Was I not positive enough? (and I didn't pray and wasn't very positive at 16. I was scared out of my mind (of death - as in, of seeing her in a dying state) for one thing...)
People are going to die some day. I want to think positive and pray that my parents or no one else I love will never have to suffer in any way, but I don't want to feel guilty if they die, although I will feel pain in other ways.
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In conclusion...I am certain that one of my future posts will be a cynical look at how stupid people are. This quest is more about how I think in my head...how when I lay in bed at night, I replace obsessive thoughts of past mistakes I have made, or past fights, or things that stressed me out in the past (deaths of pets, doing poorly in college, not making the h.s. volleyball team, etc - I've been known to obsess and think about all these things and other things, even visualizing my own funeral or the funerals of loved ones that I don't want to die, for goodness sakes), with the happiest thoughts I have, like remembering being pregnant and the baby as he has gotten older, of every happy memory I can think of. It has made my days and nights much more enjoyable.
7 comments:
I totally buy into the whole Law of Attraction (LOA) thing. Did you watch Oprah today? They revisited the subject of the power of positive thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Pretty good show.
I started getting into LOA and "The Secret" about a year ago and feel like it has changed my life.....not dramatically, but I feel like I have much more of a positive outlook to life. Let me clarify that I never really had what I considered a negative outlook, but I definitely had room for imporvement. I read, watched or listened to anything and everything I could get my hands on about LOA. I still do and I feel like it has really helped me. I began to appreciate all the things that were wonderful in my life and feel gratitude towards even the simplest of things. I even changed my attitude that sometimes got the better of me with regards to the "idiots" of the world. I don't let other's stupidity bother me anymore....why let it affect me?
Anyway, I am not crazy about the preachy stuff either, but I believe whole-heartedly in LOA and the power of the mind creating the life we live.
Peace~
Stef - thanks for the comments.
I remember reading that on your blog now that you mention it. I will have to look into it. I am interested in reading non-religious material on the subject, just to get a different and less angled point of view.
I just checked out your blog again the other day (it is so hard to keep up on blogs with work and the little one). Sounds like you are heading for a smokin' competition - and you look GREAT! Also, looks like your ski trip was fun. (and I know you hate it when people read but don't post on your blog...I'll post next time...hee)
Karla, I agree with you on the non religious type of LOA books. I tend to stay away from religion based books because I have always hated the idea of being preached to. I believe in a higher spiritual power, but really can't deal with organized religion.
I think you should try reading about it in general terms, instead of religious terms. You might like it more.
=)
Hey!!! I love your new outlook. I definetly think you can be positive AND snarky (in a funny, entertaining sort of way) at the same time. I get really negative sometimes about everything but I'm better lately. Its more about he hills and valleys of life for me I guess.
I'm so glad Stef posted a link to your blog on this subject. I am working every single day on trying to focus on all that I have to be grateful for (and it is a lot) and stop myself from thinkng negatively all the time. Thanks for your post...it really hit home. :)
I'm glad Stef posted a link to your blog also. Good for you for being honest with yourself and for trying to make changes in your attitude and outlook.
I am on the same quest myself altho if you read my blog, it may not sound that way.
Re: LOA - I avoid it because of the topics you brought up. My mom just died the most painful and horrendous death ever from cancer. I refuse to think that she brought this on herself with negative thinking. And I refuse to feel that I wasn't positive enough to bring a change for her.
I think replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is a good practice for everyone.
Good luck with your inner paradigm shift!
Hi Hayley...I didn't know Stef linked me. I've been horrible about reading blogs. If I had a laptop, I'd read them in bed b4 I go to sleep, b/c that's about all the time I have these days to read. I'm glad you stopped by. I need all the "positive reinforcement" I can get!
Hi Jen! Hey...you know, I sent you a personal message in blends regarding your mother's passing, but I have a feeling it didn't go through or something. I am so sorry for your loss, and was very sad to hear the news (I was late on hearing it, too). I remember you talking about her cancer before. No words I say can really comfort you, but I was/am thinking of you. Yeah...I guess we can't look at it that way...that we didn't pray hard enough or whatever. That's probably not the point of those books, but I can't help but see it that way, too.
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